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The first thing that comes to mind about Bryce Harper is this: There is now a ballplayer whose entire career I will not see, even if I live to the average life expectancy of an American man. If he plays into his early 40s -- as superstars usually do ...

Had a few tugs on the jug last night and drifted off. When I came to, the Rays were on my TV screen, whooping it up like a pack of nutcases. How long had I been out? Was it October already? Did Tampa Bay just clinch the pennant? Then I remem...

Don't be harshin' my buzz, bro. That's what I would say if I actually talked like that - which I don't because I'm not some whacked-out stoner, thank you very much. But the phrase comes to mind whenever I see these so-called "Playoff Odds" listed ...

So I decided to watch Phillip Humber's first start in the wake of his perfecto Thursday night. You know, just to see if he could do it again. Turns out he couldn't. Walked the first batter. Then it got worse. He gave up two runs in the first, five in...

You know who I have absolutely no use for? Guys who don't care about sports. There, I said it -- and I ain't taking it back. It just isn't right. Show me a guy who doesn't at least have a working knowledge of even one sport, and I'll show you s...

If you were alive back in the '70s and not too brain-addled by all the stuff people were doing in that self-medicating decade, you might remember that it seemed as though a new sports league was being formed every week. There was the World Footbal...

A couple of weeks back, I suggested that the New Orleans Saints should receive an NCAA-style death penalty for their bounty-system shenanigans. Fortunately, Saints fans are a level-headed bunch who took my suggestion as a starting-off point for intel...

Current stuff that's twisting my intestines in a knot. So NASCAR is going to have its first electric pace car. I was hoping that by the futuristic-sounding year of 2012, NASCAR would have already had an atomic-powered pace car and a flying pace...

You know which of the major sports has the best traditions and rituals? Were you gonna say baseball because it's been around the longest? If you were, you'd be wrong. It's hockey. In fact, it's not even a contest. From the hats on the ice to the play...

So you're a baseball fan, and you're feeling guilty because you think you know the game pretty well. But a lot of times when your favorite team's opponent calls on a middle reliever, you've never heard of the guy. "I'm in a fantasy league," you sa...

You know what really hackles my barneys? Getting promised something that doesn't come to fruition. You ever heard of the 1966 Cleveland Indians? Yeah, I'm sure you've heard of the year 1966 and the Cleveland Indians baseball team, but you ever he...

I'm sure all of you were as messed up as I was by the recent report that the Lingerie Football League is going on hiatus for 2012. We can only hope their promise to come back stronger and better in 2013 is not an empty one. In the meantime, your need...

Page 2's resident curmudgeon says Saints deserve the death penalty.

Yankees, Red Sox are kings of MLB. All others are simply pretenders.

Page 2 suggests potential interim coaches for the Saints.

Page 2 identifies the best movie ever made about a bracket.