This week in Off The Ball, Romario claims he's is better than Messi and Racing striker Teo pulls a paintball gun.
This week in Off the Ball, Reds paid GBP;20m after seeing fake Downing video and Boateng sidelined by too much sex.
This week in Off the Ball, Vincent Kompany is stuck for words, Franck Ribery wants a shisha bar and Luis Suarez is zapped by a laser.
This week in Off the Ball, Carlos Tevez gets trashed in Manchester and Bayern's success costs €12.50.
This week in Off the Ball, Andres Iniesta is like an erotic dream and USA women's goalkeeper Hope Solo gets naked.
This week in Off the Ball, Tevez spits the dummy, Barca get shirty and Bath City's underpants cause a fracas.
Off The Ball: Bayern Munich's ultra's issue their own goalkeeper Manuel Neuer with a restraining order.
This week in Off The Ball, Gerald Asamoah causes a three-woman catfight and thousands of inflatable sheep head to Wales.
This week in Off The Ball, Gennaro Gattuso swaps fighting for dancing and Argentinian model Milena Hot strips for All Boys.
This week in Off The Ball, "arrogant" Ronaldo has a "screw loose" and Brazilian goalkeeper Saulo injures himself celebrating his goal.
This week in Off The Ball, Jens Lehmann is told he's a muppet who belongs in an asylum.
Dominic Raynor on a week when the transfer window closed with barely a sound - unless you're Chelsea.
Dominic Raynor on a week when Bayern Munich handed out free beer to their suffering fans.
Dominic Raynor on the race to break to world record for a transfer fee this summer.
Dom Raynor on why the Club World Cup won't save Ancelotti's job and Oliver Kahn's latest rant.