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The season is done and the verdict is in. The correct London teams are heading to the Champions and Europa Leagues respectively while the evil hegemony of Manchester United may well be toppled now that Sir Alex Ferguson has left the building with his...

There is no more beautiful sight in all of soccer. Nothing that makes the heart soar higher, the pulse race faster, the mustache go more a-quiver or the beer spray across the room with more joyous gusto. And on Sunday at the Football Factory in Ne...

As someone who has been following English soccer since Vinnie Jones grabbed Paul Gascoigne in a place that is generally considered impolite, I can't help but admire Sir Alex Ferguson's staggering achievement as the manager of Manchester United: 26 ye...

It's not fair. Every Christmas, I put money into the Salvation Army kettle in spite of that incredibly annoying bell they ring. Every Arbor Day I always plant a tree -- or at least sit under one sipping a beer. And every July 4, I donate my mustache ...

I had one of those vivid, hi-def dreams Saturday, the kind where you don't want to wake up, especially after a 12-hour bender celebrating Spurs being Spurs and dropping two points at Wigan. (Imagine the damage I would have done if the Latics had actu...

It's been a horrible, crazy week but on the bright side, it now looks as if there won't be a title-clinching honor guard for Sir Alex and the Dutch weasel at the Emirates next Sunday. That's because barring a miracle -- and after Spurs' mind-boggling...

Not to get all misty-eyed, but it did seem like the FA Cup went from "Zombie Apocalypse" -- courtesy of some charming Millwall knuckle-draggers -- to English soccer heaven within 24 hours. Following Saturday's harrowing glimpse into the sport's da...

Sometime in May, Rafa Benitez will walk through the door at Stamford Bridge marked Vamonos while being careful not to bump into Jose Mourinho who, according to reports in the oh-so-reliable English press, will be swaggering through the door marked "W...

Here's what we learned during Friday night's "Chilla in Vanilla": The U.S. men's national team can win during a blinding snowstorm. Here's what we still don't know: Can they win in normal soccer conditions? Because the chances that there'll be a f...

My heart bleeds for Sir Alex. First, that mean old Turkish referee failed to get the memo about how when you're officiating at Old Trafford you're not allowed to send off a United player -- especially when it's clearly not a red card offense anywhere...

They were waiting for me outside the bar: three Spurs fans kitted out in the odious colors of their satanic North London cult. Since they never properly introduced themselves, let's just call them Fat, Drunk and Stupid. "Guess you'll need a new ja...

I'll give Roberto Mancini credit. The Manchester City scarf model is surrounded by math majors who look at the Premier League table and ask, "Why don't you quit while you're behind?" Yet he isn't about to back away from a fight. The defending cha...

Dear Stan, I have written to Arsene twice in the last two years to little effect, so I have decided to move up the food chain. I know you don't like to get directly involved in the running of your sports teams but given your $450 million investmen...

I admit it. I looked out of my New York City window on Saturday morning, saw what looked like Nemo-geddon, hit the snooze button, knocked over my half-drunk glass of Stella, and went back to dreaming of an English team winning the Champions League. ...

Can we all agree that with a nine-point gap and 13 games left to play, the title is Manchester United's to lose? Of course, you might have said that last season, and we all know what happened in the final seconds at the Etihad. And who can forget th...

Until Sunday, I could only think of two reasons I would leap off my bar stool to celebrate a Spurs goal. One involves an electric cattle prod connecting with my nether regions. The other concerns a dream I've had in which Jennifer Lawrence rocks a To...